| either way, i don't want to wake up from you |
[Dec. 3rd, 2009|06:26 pm] |
I have returned to Montreal. I flew on the red eye, rushed home in a very*expensive*taxi and barely had time to drop my suitcases off before running out the door in order to make it to my class at Dawson. Oh lordy. I don't know how my students can take me seriously when I show up wearing the clothes that I wore to DJ the night before...in Vancouver.
I let my students out early (thank God) and headed home in order to unpack, clean my room, complete some research work, shower and then take a nap. Logan stopped by at one point and crawled in to bed with me and told me some recent gossip that I'd missed while being away. That was nice.
In the evening Johnny and I played dress up with our common treasures that we'd acquired on our seperate travels. At one point my bed was COVERED in nasty costume jewelry from the 80s as we sorted through the trash looking for the gems. And there were some...let me tell you!
Afterward I made a very thrown together supper (due to extreme exhaustion and just generally being at my wits end) for ML and i. I was so relieved to see them after 12 days. Oy. I'm definitely feeling the sickness.
I must say, my last couple days in Vancouver were extremely difficult. The entire trip was incredible and wonderful and I love everyone so much and I had so much fun (too much?) but I also was on a ridiculous emotional/mental rollercoaster vis-a-vis how my life turned out, where I belong, what the fuck I am doing with my life, missing people that i want around me ALL THE TIME, loss of friends, sickness, death, tragedy, family, crossed wires, love, sex, adventure, politics, responsibility and just generally dealing with who i am and how i am. And the last 2 days? Well, a couple fucked up things happened that really kicked my ass.
And now? Now I am at home. Working. Dressing up. Wishing that I could slow down, but apparently I can't. Maybe in January. |
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| baby is sick |
[Dec. 1st, 2009|09:42 pm] |
I get on the red eye tonight and head back to MTL. At this point I'm just thinking about survival.
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| under my umbrella |
[Nov. 26th, 2009|03:53 pm] |
Okay. You have to understand... it was the Hidden Cameras show... we drank... we flirted... we were a little over excited.... I debated about whether or not to post this video, but my inner archivist won out (as she always does. That bitch always gets her way!).
WARNING: this edition of the V Files is 9-motherfucking-minutes long and I swear a blue streak almost the entire time.
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| wanna talk, wanna talk about, talk about body, body building |
[Nov. 25th, 2009|12:01 pm] |
Episode 3 of the V Files. It's 8am and I look fucken terrible. I don't know why I thought recording this before my bath or getting dressed was a good idea. But there you go. I've also lost my voice (again. I seem to lose it constantly).
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| help, i have done it again |
[Nov. 24th, 2009|05:29 am] |
I told Hugs that her barbie pink bathroom totally ruins her butch rep.
The next installment of the V Files, with special guest Liza.
I am really enjoying myself a little too much on this trip. |
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| you can do it, put your back into it |
[Nov. 23rd, 2009|12:37 am] |
For some reason, the sound recording using photobooth is all effed up. It took me forever to recover the sound on this file and when I did it slowly goes out of synch towards the end. Still, better than nothing.
Which is my intro to "The V Files" (i.e. me and Hugs being ridiculous, because that is the rock that our relationship is built on).
An extra bonus V Files, us testing out photobooth after the "no sound debacle", trying to figure out what was wrong.
p.s. whoever it was at FOD last night who left Hugs the note that said "you're adorable and your ass is sexy", please identify yourself to claim your prize. |
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| november rain |
[Nov. 19th, 2009|12:45 pm] |
txt msgs from graham from a while ago:
Graham: emmy hennings, c'est vous?
Boo: What?
Graham: it's all saints day. I'm matching people with lesser known saints.
Boo: Who is she?
Graham: in 1916 she co-founded cabaret voltaire, politics and art, after ten years performing in Berlin + Munich variety clubs + prison. she was both the star and creative engine of the cabaret but is systematically ignored by sexist art historians. she is also beautiful, like you.
***
Good to know that Graham is always around to make me feel better when I feel like shit.
He also likes to text me Guns'n'Roses lyrics every now and again. |
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| lover's revenge |
[Nov. 16th, 2009|03:37 pm] |
the only way to process effed up emotions: with morning champagne, cheese pizza and LLL/Johnny dancing around in their money boots, topless, wrapped in crinoline.
And if even that doesn't make you feel better? Well, that might be a sign of trouble. |
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| i want your love and i want your revenge |
[Nov. 16th, 2009|10:59 am] |
post week of 16 hour work days where i felt like i accomplished nothing
post night of DJing for almost 3 hours, split between 2 parties, ending at 4am
post attempts to produce new zine for expozine and failing
post tabling for 16 hours at expozine (aka most overwhelming event ever)
post 2 run-in encounters with an ex that i generally don't speak to, both of which actually went okay
post participating in a public reading series for the first time in years and finding it to be unpleasant and unnerving... realizing that I am not that person anymore
post beating J and A's asses until bruised viciously at against the wall.
post make out with massive amount of hair pulling
post everyone i see telling me that i look exhausted (thanks guys?)
post not sleeping in my own bed for 3 days straight
post long string of houseguests that lasted since a week before Halloween.
post running out of toilet paper... 5 days ago (there goes every box of kleenex in the house)
post banging my head horrendously on the cupboard door, walking in the boots that hurt my left foot and allowing myself to be bruised all over my chest
post wondering why my parents haven't called me in a week
post drama with friends who are breaking up, making up, "cheating", feeling trapped, getting "grounded", drinking away their problems, going broke, getting fired, hating their jobs, stressing out, breaking down, holding on, growing up, losing face, hiding out, acting out and generally just surviving.
post dancing like no one was watching
post hugs with friends i see all the time and hugs with those i haven't seen in forever.
post laughing so hard that my stomach hurt and i was snorting air in through my nose to keep from suffocating.
post all this?
I am realizing that it's monday and nothing has changed. I still have 16 hour days ahead of me and I still have no idea why I feel like everything is balanced on the edge of disaster when everything is simultaneously pretty great. |
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| the last girl standing up against the wall |
[Nov. 12th, 2009|09:10 am] |
This week is wearing me down and tearing me down. I am so tired and unable and just plain unsure of what the fuck it is that I am doing. I hate my job. I've been working on this research project for 2 years and it is getting to be very boring and very depressing. I need out. But any other job would pay less and have worse hours. Being a Capricorn, my professional life is exceedingly important to my self-concept and now that my professional life is painful, it feels like my whole life is painful (which is ridiculous because, honestly, the rest of my life is so fucking stellar right now, I don't even know how to contain all of it in words). I spent 2 days in bed this past week. Not because I was sick but because I couldn't find the will to get up. I had told myself that I couldn't make plans with friends, that I had to dedicate those days to work... but when it came time to get up and do the work, I just couldn't. Instead I would just lie there and stare at the wall. It was so stupid and so terrible. I haven't done something like that since the age of teenage angst! Gross.
And now? Now I am fighting against the clock. Desperately. I am working 16 hour days trying to get all of the following done:
1. Log enough hours at my research job to pay my monthly expenses
2. Prepare my zines for Expozine this weekend (and get a new one done? It's looking unlikely).
3. Prepare for the 2 DJ sets that I am playing this weekend (and by extension, the 4 more that I will be playing in the rest of November).
4. Prepare for the performance that Johnny and I will be doing at the Against the Wall sex party on Saturday night.
5. Grading my students' papers and preparing for next week's class.
6. Preparing for my trip to Vancouver, I am leaving next Saturday (finding places to stay, scheduling visits with friends, preparing my work, arranging for shit here to be covered).
7. Getting the line up of performers and DJs together for next Friday's Cabaret Faux Pas
8. Preparing for the Radical Queer Semaine Meeting that is apparently happening in my living room next Friday evening, before Faux Pas.
I basically wake up shaking and feel sort of panicked and sick all day, every day.
But, just to be fair, life is also fucken rad right now... All those things that I am preparing for (Cabaret Faux Pas, Radical Queer Semaine, trip to Vancouver, DJing a whole bunch, the sex party, performing, expozine) are incredible things in my life right now that have me completely stoked on being alive. I suppose I need to calm the fuck down and just focus on the radness and perhaps then the work will just happen without the shaking and the sickness. |
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| are these girls fucking & mating or are they best friends out skating? |
[Nov. 5th, 2009|04:25 pm] |
others may come and go, but vomiting into each others' mouths is forever.
p.s. i cannot begin to explain how epic the last week has been... well, maybe i'll try:
- Nicky Click & Nikki Slikk = high femme hurricane that has left remnants of makeup smeared on walls and bobby pins littered throughout the house.
- Slikk & Click performed so hard that all their clothes came off! Hott.
- Mock Opera Horror Show resulted in extreme bruises, a huge mess, at least 3 outfits of mine completely ripped to shreds and major spaghetti cunt.
- when my dj shift starts at 4am, i should expect that the next 3 days of my life be totally fucked.
- The number one lesson learned at the 2110 SGM: "Only queens should EVER chair meetings".
- Also on the topic of 2110 SGM: I can't figure out what there was more of in that room, hotties or hostility.
- best friends should only ever visit in an unannounced manner! It makes everything incredibly exciting. |
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| livin' on a prayer |
[Oct. 29th, 2009|09:11 am] |
I can't afford it, but fuck it:
MTL to VAN Nov. 21
VAN to MTL Dec. 1
Wanna hang out? |
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| fist with a kiss |
[Oct. 28th, 2009|09:08 am] |
The return of the video blog! It is the season for the undead, right? |
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| i don't like it when you call me baby. |
[Oct. 27th, 2009|09:05 am] |
Nicky Click and Nikki Slikk descended upon our household last night around 12:30am. Those ladies are a storm of fabulousness. I had to drag myself away from the giggling and the stories and the politics and the hilarity at 2am in order to sleep (cause I have to fucking work today!). And so I am broadsided yet again with INCREDIBLE PEOPLE. That's the theme this week (lifetime?) apparently.
Right now, my life is so lovely and interesting and I am glad to be so lucky. |
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| you need another lover like you need a hole in your head. |
[Oct. 26th, 2009|10:11 pm] |
this week is stressful and simultaneously incredible. The reasons for this are overlapping:
1) It's the last week of the month which is ALWAYS my busiest work time because I procrastinate.
2) Halloween is this week which means that there's just about a million amazingly fun events to attend.
3) Cabaret Faux Pas is on Saturday and we are doing a HUGE show. I'm performing in 5 numbers!
Tonight I had an amazing supper with Johnny Forever, Julie and Amber Dawn. At a table like that I had to take a moment to appreciate the incredible people that I get to have in my life. After supper we went to a screening of Loree Erickson's "queer crip porn" titled WANT. Loree was there and gave an excellent lecture. I spoke with her about my class afterward and was able to purchase a copy of her film to show to my students. I can't wait!!!!
Now back to work... it's already past 10pm and I have 4 or 5 more hours to put in tonight. Fuck. |
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| now let go of my hand |
[Oct. 20th, 2009|01:04 pm] |
Almost an entire month of grand adventures. It's a good thing that I keep an obsessively detailed calendar.
Oct.3
I went to supper with ML and her family.... oh supper with the family of the person you've recently started dating... Needless to say, I was a little nervous. But I think it went well. I always feel weird and mildly uncomfortable when people ask me what I do for a living. Being involved in a research project where you write reports about children who were severely abused (often by members of the church) doesn't make for very comfortable table conversation. I always feel like I am ambushing people with depressing shit.
Afterward I came home to my own homo family. I sat in the kitchen with a gin and tonic and listened to music very loud. It was one of those moments, simple and unexpected, when I just felt so very good and perfectly happy. From that point, there was something about that night. We all dressed up for the Q-Team Mythical Creatures party and headed down feeling like the night belonged to us. And it really did. We danced madly and flirted mercilessly. And that's the thing about a night like that... everyone is flirting mercilessly, so it works out smashingly. I DJed the closing set and had such a fabulous time. I think that my good time translated onto the floor and everyone seemed to have had a blast.
Oct. 4
Quiet recovery day. Brunch house meeting. Lots of amazing plans were made. I love my household, we are such a lovely little family. In the afternoon I went over to Kate's house. She has decided to move to Vancouver and, as part of her preparation to move, she liquidated her record collection (which was 1700 large). I bought about 100 records including some serious gems like Antony and the Johnsons, Patti Smith and Against Me!
Oct. 5
Played pool with James. Remembered that I am actually pretty good at it and really enjoy it quite a bit. Afterward had a date with Maxime, all negotiations and delights. A very interesting situation indeed.
Oct. 6
Spent the day with Johnny at "our other living room" AKA the cafe down the block. We spend at least 3 days a week there, working. The staff loves us and know all about the research that both of us are doing. Plus they make the best potato salad and soy chai in town. Karl (!!!) joined us. It was the first time I'd seen Karl in almost a year. He worked on an article for a science magazine and we all just hung out. I could almost close my eyes and pretend that Karl was living in Montreal and that we'd see each other like this every day. It was grand.
Afterward I went home and was visited by K-la and Sylvie. Two visits from long lost Vancouver darlings in one day! A seriously joyous overload. We drank ciders in the kitchen while I baked a cake (for Karl and Daniel's birthdays which are both on Oct.7). Then I cut K-la and Sylvie's hair in the living room. I miss cutting people's hair! In Vancouver I had almost a dozen friends whose hair I would cut regularly. Such a nice visit.
Had a date with ML that evening. We cooked together and almost burned the house down. Oh well.
Oct. 7
Mid-terms. I love mid-terms at new school because they are an opportunity for the cards to be laid out on the table. I was not disappointed and I feel extremely positive about the new direction that I feel the group will now go in.
Afterward I rushed home in order to deal with my douche bag landlord who had FINALLY come to fix the kitchen sink which had been broken for nearly 6 months. The entire time he yammered on with his extremely inappropriate and judgmental bullshit. He is the definition of unpleasant.
Then to Coco's house for exactly the opposite! Baked apples, spanikopita and beautiful conversation while the sun poured in through the window. Coco is magical!
Sadly it had to be cut short so that I could swing by Erin and Julie's in order to feed the cats and dog and play with them while the ladies of the house were away.
Rushed home at 6 and whipped together a grand supper for 7 people to celebrate Karl and Daniel's Birthdays! We drank lots of wine and told stories about our worst birthdays ever. Smoked shisha after the delicious chocolate orange cake and talked shit. Karl and I started pulling out the "remember whens" and it's always downhill from there.
Headed up to Il Motore with Karl (bike ride!) for the Mirah show. Who knew that every rad homo in town would be going to the Mirah show? Damn! It was such a delightful night of hobnobbing and beautiful music. Karl made me laugh so hard I nearly pissed myself. Then home to shower, gossip with LLL & Johnny and wait for my doorbell to ring.
Oct. 8
What a fucken morning. Parking ticket. Ikea. Killed the battery on the van. Oy. Thank God for morning kisses and breakfast at Tiffany's. Holy Fuck. Otherwise I'd just have to pitch myself.
Spent the evening hiding over at Julie and Erin's with the animals. Spent nearly 2 hours there, just feeling the love. Occupied myself with photobooth:
an obvious and pathetic attempt to increase my personal cuteness via proximity with adorable animals.
Blinded by a tail to the eye. A tragic story, really.
Love Triangle
Had our first Mock Opera meeting that night. Hashed out some final details. Spent the rest of the evening packing and preparing for my weekend.
And what a weekend.... I think that tackling Harvest and the rest of my month will have to wait until my next post. |
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| going in for the kill |
[Oct. 20th, 2009|12:46 am] |
Motivated by the upcoming Expozine event here in Montreal, Johnny and I decided that we should come up with a name to group together our two bodies of printed work in order to be able to distro and table together.
And so Mama Boy Press was born.
I love that we threw together a pretty decently functional site in a day. Go us. Way to avoid our "real" work. |
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